Sheryl Sandberg Encourages Women to "Lean In" and Lead

It's the 21st century and all the age-old issues that have been haunting the human race ceased to exist, right? Wrong. Gender equality in various settings, especially the workplace, had been an issue for years, and the struggle is continuing up to this date. The stance of women in our society has drastically and positively changed then, say, 300 years ago, but most leadership positions are still mostly taken up by men. Sure, feminists in the 1900's advance in education and technology, and increased social awareness made life much easier for women today in many aspects of their lives, but some social stigmas and ideologies in both men and women are preventing women from using their full potential. In Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, Sheryl Sandberg, the author of the book and the COO of Facebook, discusses the issues that women of all races, ethnicities, beliefs, and religions go through during their career journey, along with statistics, real-life stories, and personal experiences, and gives advice on how to empower women. 

1. Leadership and Ambition

Sandberg introduces the "leadership ambition gap" - an issue that most women face today. Ambitious women or women with full careers are portrayed as having no personal life, not caring for their families, or generally vulgar or masculine. Pop culture doesn't put in consideration single moms or women who are the primary breadwinners of their families, which make up a little less than half of the population. Although ambition is seen as manly and not a compliment for females, many people argue with Sandberg that ambitious is not the issue. Women have other, and in their opinion more beneficial responsibilities to cater to, such as raising children, contributing to society, giving care to her family members, and developing herself and the community. Leadership is not the ultimate achievement, they say, and so women should not strive to achieve only that.

2. Men Overestimate, Women Underestimate

When asked to evaluate their own jobs, men are likely to give themselves more credit than necessary, and women are more likely to under evaluate themselves. When asked about how they did such a great job, men are likely to praise their talents and abilities, where women will give credit to other factors, like luck, hard work, or people's help. When blamed for not doing their work correctly, men would attribute their failure to the lack of interest or lack of hard work, while women will mostly refer to their genetics and how certain genes prevent her from achieving success. Also, in a Princeton research, when the class of '75 was asked how they would handle any family-related obstacles; most men agreed that women would accommodate their careers accordingly while a very little percentage of women thought men would do that.

3. Fear of Not Being Accepted

Women are often driven off opportunities and challenges because they fear they won't be liked. Unfortunately, it's not all up in their heads; people do prefer males as seniors and mentors than women and like males achievers more than females ones. They feel indebted to men who help them but feel like the women who help them should do that as caregivers. To get what they want or request something, they have to act more feminine, not professional, and they have to give legitimate reasons to get their requests accepted. Men, on the other hand, only need to state their request and it's fulfilled instantly. Women are also more scared of taking risks in business in fear of failure, and need to make sure that they have 100% of the skills required to complete a task; men, on the other hand, take up tasks partially unprepared and aim to learn more from the experience, not caring about possible mistakes. This makes women unconfident and hesitant of taking risks or seizing opportunities in fear of being looked at differently or disliked, something that all humans fear. 

4. Women Prevent Women From Succeeding

Women may sometimes be their own barrier to achievements and success. In most countries women are categorized into certain stereotypes, most of which are negative. Some of them face "stereotype threat", which is a condition where individuals who belong to a negative stereotype subconsciously act according to that stereotype. Some women might be experts or professionals and still experience the "impostor syndrome", where they feel fraudulent when someone praises them for their work and are sure that they will soon be known for who they really are. Moreover, ambitious females are sometimes paralyzed by fear; they fear failure, attention, discrimination, and hatred. 

5. Why Arab Women Are Afraid to "Lean In"

In Arab or Muslim countries, the role of women as daughters, wives, and mothers is deeply integrated within the culture, and any dereliction from them towards their families is frowned upon from society. Many people in the region also hold that women's ultimate goal should be caring for the wellbeing of her family, and so many women get scared of defying the proper social conduct and not fulfilling their designated duties. What also scares women of joining the workforce is the social pressure of working and coming in frequent contact with strange men; if two men are sitting in a cafe and discussing business, it will look professional, but it were male and female, it would look like they're dating, which is extremely shameful in the Middle Eastern and Arab culture. Another issue, which is especially persistent in the lower to middle classes in Egypt, is that corporates choose men over women to hold higher positions since men are considered as the primary breadwinners in the country and, therefore, need more compensation. Women, in this case, earn very little compensation and are therefore demotivated from joining the workforce. Women are also afraid of being "too successful" for their own good; in Egypt, it is a social stigma for men to marry women who out earn them, so these women fear not having a chance to marry. 

Achieving, even more, equality and granting women more rights start with support first and foremost. Men and women alike should support other women and encourage each other. Unfortunately, due to the limited number of women reaching senior positions, most women in workplaces view each other as competition rather than support or motivation. Women need to learn to accept each other's differences, goals, and in order to flourish together. 

To lead, to accomplish, and to "lean in", you need confidence. What if you lack it? "Fake it till you feel it," says Sandberg. Research show that when you fake a certain feeling or gesture for a long while, you start to actually feel it. Women are wired to keep their hands down and shy away from opportunities, but when they raise up their hands, stand in good posture and act confident when they feel like they want to curl up in a ball and hide, they will look and feel confident and opportunities will come their way instantly. By leaning in and breaking free from social pressures, women can change the power structure of the world and finally fill the leadership gap. It is then that even more women will lean in and strive for success with no fear, shyness, or obstacles. 

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